The Pre-Game

How many times have you said "I'll start on Monday" or "I'll start January 1st"? I've lost count. Whether the goal is health related or finance or even just starting a hobby, how many times have you talked about it but not actually started? After a chat with a good friend I realized I've been living in pre-game land for awhile. I've been talking about getting back into a routine with food, I've been talking about going to the gym more often , but I haven't followed through. I've also been talking about writing a blog again but said I'll do that after I've done x. Meaning, I'm not going to put myself out there until I've proven to myself I can follow through. Let me get real with you for a minute. On January 1, 2010, I made the same old new years resolution I made every year but this time I followed through. Over the next few years I went on a journey of transforming my body and lost 190lbs. I would call myself an influencer, I was asked to speak publicly, I wrote a blog with a pretty substantial following and I was coaching others. I was even contacted by People Magazine to appear on their cover!! Let's just say I was getting a lot of attention and deep down inside I wasn't prepared for that. Now why am I sharing this? Because all of that being put on a pedestal, of holding myself to super high standards, came crashing down. I sustained the weight loss for almost 5 years but slowly gained most of it back through 2 pregnancies (one with twins) and being put on bedrest for about 10 weeks. Slowly I slipped back into old familiar patterns and through countless sleepless nights and the demands of being a Mom I stopped prioritizing my health. The story writes itself! Now back to this pre-game conversation. I was sharing with my friend how I wanted to start writing a blog again but I wasn't ready. To be completely honest I lost trust in myself to follow through on any promises I made to myself. Then I got it, it was like I've been living in this pre-game world for 3 years. I've been thinking, planning, warming up, doing all the things we do before we start the game, but the thing is the game had already started! What I thought was waiting for the game to start (pre-game) was in fact the game. All the messiness, the disappointments, the not following through, the hiding out, that is all the game!! What if I shared that? So thank you my dear friend for that conversation. Here I am sharing the game with all of you, I don't know what it looks like, i'm not even sure how to score in this game, I can't even promise that you will see another post from me but i'm playing the game. It's messy, it's vulnerable and it's life.

I'm promising to live life brilliantly and share the ups and downs. The funny things my girls say (when I understand them) to how do I get my 4 year old to eat broccoli without starting World War 3 is all part of it so come on back or subscribe for updates on this blog to be notified.